losing faith

Some have special little ones in our lives that we call part of the family. We come home and they are the first ones to great us. They get excited just to know we are home.

When we found out Faith was sick we didn't know how long she had with us. We just knew it was a matter of time. We've known her since she was a tiny little thing. You couldn't see her grays you just could see it in her eyes. In the way she moved the way she didn't have the energy to move. I was asked to photograph her before she was ready to leave. I know that at the time I was running on her time. It was the first time I'd photograph a family member with four paws and was nervous doing so. Babies are not photographed on your terms but on theirs. It was more fun for me than for her.

Faith 2005-2016

Now it was just a matter of time before she was to say goodbye. She didn't want to give up but she was also in pain. Talk about stubborn. Four legged beings tend to take after their humans so her being a fighter made since. But knowing that you have a heart means that it is you that has to break down and help and this is the worst part of saying goodbye. Going to the vet one last time of Faith's life will be her last. While the doctor prepares her you think about all the bad things in life she did because of course she is a rebel. And you try to figure all the good things but you cannot because all you think about is the suffering. It's never an easy thing to do. She falls asleep and you wait to see if she'll get back up.

Faith you will be missed but we knew one day you'd leave. The family Sunday night dinners will not be the same without you at our feet. You always had that look on your face like you could do no wrong. Out of all I know Gracie will miss you the most, your sister in crime. Hope that where ever you are you won't haunt the family because knowing how they don't care for the paranormal you would definitely freak them out.

the pursuit of silence

Have you ever enjoyed the silence? I don't mean being alone. I mean the sound of silence. Have you ever sat down at a table, and everyone seems to be on their phone. Have you been home and have the electronic devices off? Do people ever look up anymore.

We lose touch with our surroundings and we forget to enjoy what comes our way. We miss a smile from a stranger. We miss who waved hello on the road. We can not even hear the wind anymore because we have a device planted in our ears.

There are a few people that still want to find the sound of silence. What does this mean? We urge to go on vacation to get away from all the noise that consumes our lives. From a busy work place to how loud a restaurant is that you can not seem to hold a conversation long enough before its over powered by the loudness and how bored you are that you pick up that device to not acknowledge what it is in front of you.

When you choose a destination to feel at ease or restless, is it not the same as what you left back home.

Silence is what will come to exist in the future.

The Pursuit of Silence was recommended to us to watch at the film festival. Now I'm recommending you to watch it. It will open your eyes to the sounds that you can not hear anymore and you'll learn how important it can impact your life.

where I go to find the silence

When I go to the beach once a year it's to get away from the city. To go where no one knows my name. To leave all worries behind. I go when it's not beach season so it won't be so crowded. We go to the tip of the island where I know no one will go. I bring a foldable lawn chair and sit it on the sand. I sit down and stare out at the big endless water and lose my train of thought. Sit there for an hour before I realize thoughts are coming back to me and I start to reevaluate my life. Start acknowledging the waves and the seagulls again. How I've disturbed their daily routine by sitting here. Gathering my chair and heading back realizing that this feeling is therapeutic and won't ever get this way for another year. This is the sound of silence. My pursuit of silence.

Sometimes you have to break from all the noise to appreciate the beauty of silence -Robert Tew

This film is our documentary this year and I gave it a five. Excellent.

This is why the people that live out in the country will live longer, healthier lives than people that live in the city.

I love the city, I live it. I also get lost in the sounds to find the silence in it.

Anti Birth

What were we thinking? It's our ninth year attending the Dallas International Film Festival. You have to love films as much as we do to make an error to watch a midnight screening, at midnight. Our first film this year was Anti Birth. It was a debate over Anti Birth and Dallas Zombie Nation. I would rate Anti Birth fair. When we walked out all I kept thinking was, what in the world did we just watch? Government injecting you with a drug for an experiment without you knowing, to find out that it went too far. Don't trust anyone. Money will buy a person. I kept thinking ,okay it will get better, through out the film. I don't regret watching it. It's a film that no one will probably ever watch. Well maybe the weirdos like us. There are the special weirdos out there that share the same concept and will laugh about watching something like Anti Birth later. As we are driving home I was trying to fight the urge to stay concentrated and alert. We hadn't been out at two in the morning in years, and wondered where my young life had gone. The years keep adding up. I'd been up since five am and it was past two am the next day. We were talking about who would still be up at this time in the morning.

We were talking about it when we hit traffic. Traffic at almost a stand still at two in the morning. All lines joining towards the last right lane on the freeway. We came upon a firetruck blocking the other three lanes and came upon a silver truck turned completely around on the freeway and the whole front end gone, and another Tahoe on a tow truck. Then we analyzed whether it was someone that just came from a club or from work. Prayed for their well being and hoped that this didn't happen for all the wrong reasons.

Anti Birth started at a party and ended with a birth. It's our horror pick this year. A creature feature. The beginning to our long week of films to watch.

Keep weird and unique friends.

red carnations

Got up early to shoot photos of a young couple this morning. Went down to Deep Ellum to do the shoot. Love the many photo ops in Deep Ellum due to the many changing backgrounds. Nothing is ever normal here. Photographers tend to use greenery as backgrounds. For example flowers, woods, botanical gardens. I like the opposite. Yes there are beautiful earthly things but I prefer old buildings, art and architecture as backgrounds.

Three things happened today as we stopped to shoot.

my young couple

One person asked us for donations, monetary donations. We politely declined.

Another person got arrested. As we passed by a women yelled out comments. They were not bad comments but just weird talk to us. We figured she was maybe already drunk while having brunch early Saturday morning. Few minutes later two patrol cars pulled up and arrested her due to not being cooperative. Found out she had been speaking her mind and ran a bill of a little over one hundred dollars without having any funds to pay.

red carnation

As we were finishing the shoot I kept noticing people with a red carnation. The closer we headed back the more and more people I saw. While taking my last photos a gentleman approached us and asked if it was okay to give us some flowers. We looked at each other as if to say does he want something in return. He said he was just passing some out and wanted to know if we would like one. We gladly accepted and he walked away. On the red carnation was a white ribbon with a small scripture written on it. I loved the small act of kindness. It made the whole shooting process that much more memorable.

the scripture

While in Deep Ellum there is never a dull moment. That's what I love about this part of Dallas. I don't know if photographers have this much excitement in their shooting process but I enjoy it. I love what the world throws at my way. Ended using the red carnation in some photos

Some days are just that much better than others. Today was a great day for this photographer.