love

it's been a little over a month now that i got my tattoo but i wanted to tell you how it came about.

we are visiting heathers family in missouri and come to find out that chelcie, bri's girlfriend, is becoming a tattoo artist. automatically heather says she has to have one done so chelcie says cool i'll bring my tools over and will make it a fun night. so there is chelcie preparing to get it together and heather asks me if i want one. then her mom, bri, and chelcie all tell me yeah get one.

i've always wanted a tattoo since i was in junior high. i wanted one to represent me you know like the ones on your neck that are huge and in print. i wanted it to read ELGUEA big all anywhere on my neck. for everyone to see. deep down i considered myself  badass. i was in junior high in a school where it was a fighting battle between blacks and mexicans so i figured i would represent.

man i am so glad that the brain cells in my brain lit a light and said no. i would have regreted it now. i mean now it would be a look at me, draw attention this way.  i always seem to cause ruckuss so i don't need the extra attention but deep down i did still want one. as i grew older i would say what could i put on my skin that would mean something to me? i didn't want to put something on and then down the road put another one on because i didn't like what i had.

i even suggested me and heather have a tattoo that only us would know what it meant. i even told my sisters that us four should share a tattoo to have kind of a unique bond. heather and i hadn't decided on one yet and my sisters thought i was playing they didn't take me serious and were a little chicken. they thought you gabby want a tattoo no that is not like you. the one rule that i share with people that i know is that you never i mean NEVER put your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend's name tattoo on your skin. why? you just branded yourself and that leads to a path of unhappiness. kids are another story they will forever be your babies.

so what leads to this point was i at 33 years old and am i seriously ready? there is also a plus i know the soon to be tattoo artist and will do it for free so as heather sat getting her tattoo. this would be her third one and my first one. i kept thinking what i was going to get and my whole body was burning up just thinking whether it was going to hurt. i finally came up with the word LOVE and for it to be placed on my arm. LOVE means so much in just this four letter word. i believe that everyone deserves to be loved and in love. it also in my part stands for To Write Love On Her Arms. so many people commit suicide everyday because of many factors but the most would be depression. i can see how someone's life can be so horribly wrong and it leads to this point but ..............that is still just being selfish and tomorrow is always better.

it's my turn so i try to get comfortable. i see the needle i'm okay. i hear the drill i'm okay. when the needle drills in my skin it hit me. it felt like if the cough was trying to push me up and my body was fighting it. as i tried to keep my arm still my body kept moving. she stopped so i thought thank god she's finished. i looked at it and was like are you freaking kidding me you have only done the red.  NO MORE NO MORE. heather said are you sure it looks okay if you want to keep it this way. then i said okay i'll finish. then the drill started up again and that's when my somewhat of arm muscles twitched and i said oh man DON'T STOP DON'T STOP KEEP GOING yes i remember trying not to yell. it was over it felt like forever.

yes i was a wuss yes you can laugh. it was funny to everyone else. as i look back on that night i can actually say that i don't regret it. will i get another one? probably not. not because of the pain but no craving for it. i'm just glad that i have not gotten tattoo crazed. i don't want to get old and have color faded ink on me and be too old and weird to get touched up ink. if thats you more power to you.

so for all you friends that are still on that path of thinking about getting one. it will hurt but the pain that soon will pass. i do think that you should get something that means something to you don't just start putting stuff on you. yes it's a form of art but don't ruin the canvas.