black fabric

This past weekend we went to Denton to check out an exhibit dedicated to coffins. Weird I know. How the coffins are used. The many ways to bury someone. We like to feed our brains with knowledge be it what it is. Found out some things that wanted to share with you.

Back in 1998 my moms father died and at the funeral I took some pictures. It sounds crazy I know. I had never taken any pictures of lost loved ones but my mom asked me to. I thought to myself why would my mom want me to do this? Well it was the man that had raised her and she loved him as a father so I figured to be her last memories of him. Later I had to keep the photos from her because she would fall into such sadness that I felt it was best that she didn't remember in pictures. As the years passed by I didn't see this at funerals but then Heathers grandfather died and I cared for him that I wanted to take pictures of his last stay here on earth so I did. I thought no one would know this feeling, I had to try to keep the very last memories of him. I could keep him in photo form. I didn't share these pictures with anyone else but I knew then why my mother wanted me to take some of her father.

covering a mirror

Now a days a funeral is blasted on cyber world like crazy. I think it's something private. Something shared only for the intimate. This leads me to what we learned. Back in the earlier years people would take pictures with the family member that had just passed. For example if my brother died today I would have him sitting in a chair and me and the family would sit next to him for one last picture. If my great aunt died today I would have her dressed laying up in bed with her eyes open and us sit next to her on the bed for one last picture. If a mother had three children and one died she would have her two living children sit next to her passed child and take a picture together. This was very normal. If it was normal then what happen to today? It would be considered taboo. A story that was shared with us by the guide that day was that a soldier was at war. Back home his wife was ready to give birth when she lost her baby. The soldier was able to come home for the loss of his child. While the family waited for him to arrive they had someway preserved the baby. They preserved the baby so that when he did arrive he could hold his baby and a photographer would take the one photo of father holding his child. The one memory that he and the family would have. Some would say creepy while others would look at it to be something sad and beautiful. 


wreath made out of hair

preparing the body

One thing that I noticed was that when the families took pictures with the deceased person they were not smiling but had sorrow in their faces the reason I say this is because I have seen pictures of family at funerals smiling. I think that they don't realize that they are at a funeral and the thought of a camera shot made them smile.

When someone passed the body would be placed at their home all the mirrors would be covered with black fabric. Superstitions would be so that their souls wouldn't get lost in another realm. We use flowers today for the beauty of decorating the space where they will be seen last or put to rest but back then it was used to cover the smell of the body. Back then they would have the undertaker come to the home to perform the embalming. The body would stay there for some days so they had to find a away to cover the smells. It sounds gross but that is natural when you die. We have come along way with the way this technique is used. Things that would be kept from the deceased would be locks of hair or something of very importance. Today would be money or objects of affection. An object from the exhibit was a wreath made out of human hair. The lady that had done this had collected years of hair and had turned it into a wreath to preserve as a family heirloom. Another thing that was significant was that at the time the person was pronounced dead the clocks in the home would be stopped. When you would come visit the family you would know the time of death. Wicker caskets were used as body bags.


wicker coffin

I filled my brain with knowledge that might help me see how it would be when I die. People don't really talk about death don't sit around a group of people and talk about it over drinks. I know I hadn't but now that I'm getting older that is always on my mind. One day you are here the next moment you don't know what happened. I believe in when I say  " if I die today will you care tomorrow". The reason I say this is because if you didn't take the moment to speak to me yesterday, and I died today why care about me tomorrow. When I pass only the very few will know.

Will you take pictures?  There was more meaning to the way someone was remembered back then than today.  However you decide to honor your loved one make it you not of what others might think. If you decide not to wear black don't do it. A funeral should be a celebration of a loved one that lived his or her life here on earth the way it was intended to be. A gathering of stories of the celebration of the life lived.

They have moved on to the next level because does it ever end?