I don't recall having my birthday celebrated as a child. I believe I was two years old when my parents celebrated my last birthday. It's not that they couldn't do it big just that we were not really raised around other kids. My moms tradition when birthdays came around is a traditional dish, Mexican mole with arroz. That's when it was just the six of us. My parents and my sisters six times a year. Then when I hit twenty two that is when I had my first real birthday. When I met Heather is when I started knowing how it was to celebrate a birthday for myself. It felt really good. When our first niece came to be with us. We celebrated like never before. We wanted her to feel like it was to have a birthday. After that I made sure to celebrate everyone in my life's birthday but I got carried away and backed off. I don't celebrate them like I had in my twenties. It just gets depressing after a while. As the family gets older it doesn't become as important as it was in the younger years. Now the loved ones live far away or just don't care about specific people in the family enough to celebrate it.
Last year I didn't do anything for my birthday. I made it intentionally dull. Wanted it to be the way it had been before Heather but she spoiled me in the past and it turned out making me feel horrible. I told myself that it didn't matter, from that point on I was going to celebrate it the best way I could from this year and on after that.
I hate having a heart. Hate feeling like I need to do something.
Made a new friend here a while back and she turned thirty yesterday. She wanted to celebrate it big. I mean it's only once you hit that milestone in our life time. Her plans were to make it memorable. I asked her, so how did it turn out? She looked at me with the saddest look on her face and said, nothing. Didn't do anything. Just spent it at home. I felt her pain. Didn't realize how important a birthday can be. I just figured we get old and on to the next day, like regular.
How many of you have had a birthday and had all these plans and just none came about? How many children and adults go without even a birthday cake? Have you ever thought that blowing out some candles to make those birthday wishes come true, some haven't experienced it yet. Now a days you have to celebrate a birthday by making it better than the last if not it didn't even matter.
When you remember your past birthdays do you remember who all was there to help you celebrate?
Yes we feel like a birthday is important to you and me, but that is when my heart aches to think that someone didn't get to feel that happiness, that acknowledgement that they exist.
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