july grown

I'll be turning a year older this week. Not looking forward to it. I stopped keeping count of how old I am. I really do forget. Went out for a drink Friday night and got IDed. I took it as will I keep looking young.

I am hitting an age where I should actually look old but the first thing that comes to my mind is that the reason that I probably don't is that I haven't been a mom. Mothers always seem to have a look of being older. Well at least the real mothers out there. My biological clock is put away forever now so on to the next step. We have came close to twice having a little one run around the floors of our home but no luck. That doesn't mean we're giving up. As long as there is still an option.  Until then I will continue to show my ID when I ask for a drink.

Birthdays to me have never really been that special. A realization that I'm getting closer to the side of wondering if my knees will crinkle when I get up. Wondering how if any vitamins I should take today. Wondering what amount of respect do I get when I'm in the same room with teenagers. Yes I celebrate the happiness of God giving me another year. The question is how important is it?

As I get older I realize the things like what my first birthday might have been? What I was doing at age fifteen? Did I remember when I hit 21? How my first birthday with Heather was like. That I will never forget. How I managed to reach 30 and let time go by so fast? I love that I'm a Leo. Leo is what helps make me.  All I can think about on the month of July is how my mother must have gone through to have me at the hottest month of the year. Then the week of the big birthday comes and I get happy, I get sad, I get excited, I get depressed.  Then I wonder if I'm the only one that feels this way?

Soon it will come and go and the process starts all over again this time next year. As I get older memories begin to fade. That's when pictures come in place. This week will be filled with surprises and I know I will enjoy them. I will capture memories and go on to the 26th like a regular day.

this is my first shool picture
the years of innocence
the who are they now

This is me Gabriela born on the 25 of a hot month some even years ago.

Some don't get this far and I am grateful that I have.

Keep loving life and the rough edges it brings.