a t-shirt never worn

I've been emptying my home of old memories. I came upon a bag of clothes. A bag of clothes given when someone from my past had passed. While going through the bag one shirt stood out and I kept it. It still had the tags from it never being worn.

I met with my sister half way to have lunch today. My dad sat on one side and my sister in front of me. I had washed the shirt and decided to wear it today. I asked my dad if he remembered Aunt Pat. You see Aunt Pat was a Great Aunt that passed away a couple of years back. My family knew of her through my past love. Here I was for the first time wearing a shirt she never got to wear. When I'd visit my past life family Miemie would wear the same shirt but in a different color. This morning when I put it on it reminded me of Miemie. How her and Aunt Pat, sisters had to have been shopping together and picked out the same shirt. Aunt Pat's was purple and Miemie was blue. Every time I visited Miemie she always wore her blue shirt. I always thought how cool it was for her to have this special Kool-Aid shirt. I'd own my own Kool-Aid shirt. Mine is a teal blue. How I in Texas had a teal blue one and her in Missouri had a blue one. Now I own a purple one. When I put it on all I could think about was Miemie. All I could think about was how Aunt Pat never got to wear hers. The two sisters never got to wear the matching shirts together.

I came home from my family time today about to take off my purple Kool-Aid shirt off when I had a message waiting for me to read. It was my used to be sister n law. She told me Miemie wasn't doing well. She will not make it much longer here on this cruel world. So as I'm about to take my shirt off I start to cry and start thinking about the last words I told Miemie. The last time I saw her she was sitting in her favorite chair working on a puzzle. I bent down to tell her goodbye and that I loved her. She always got sad to see us go but looked forward to our next visit. I said Miemie this would be my last time to see you. She got mad and told me not to say that. But I didn't have the heart to tell her what had been going on. I said Miemie I don't think you will ever see me again, she brushed it off and said don't say that. She asked why I'd say that but I was trying to fight my tears back. She said you are always welcomed but I new it would be the last time I'd see her.

My purple Kool-Aid shirt

I pray for her but especially a family that is no longer mine. The last words Laurie said to me were take this as a death. Take what my daughter did to you as if you lost in a form of death. I don't think she knew what she meant or how strong those words were to be imbedded in me. The death of someone to you personally will never be easy.

Miemie, you will always be in my heart. She may have been a strong hard headed woman but she always showed nothing but love since the first time I met her. Miemie maybe now you and Aunt Pat will be able to wear those matching Kool-Aid t-shirts you both were meant to wear one day. I love you Miemie, my chicken lover collector. Thank you Miemie for passing through a part of my life.

Did I mention I love Barbeque.....thank you

Isn't it crazy how the year is almost over. I don't know about you but a lot has happened to me but I have plenty to be thankful for.

It's tradition when spending thanksgiving with my family to open a bottle of alcohol. Be it wine, champagne, or a shot. My dad buys something new and that night we all share the beverage. We all pour some in our glass and we go around the room and each one of us says what we are thankful for.

This bottle of Barefoot wine was delicious

I cried when it wasn't even my turn. My father starts and we go around the room. Glad that I was still here alive and living. My brother n laws also say what they are thankful for. It's an all family tradition. God is so good to me to have blessed me in many ways even by giving me the men that married my sisters. Never had I thought I'd see the day that I would need from them. You always need your sisters but I hadn't needed my brothers too. They have been such a huge part of my support system. Started with Ruben, he wants me to be happy no matter whom I choose in life. Someone to be by my side no matter what. He knows I love barbeque so he makes sure to cook out when I go visit. He tells me he is happy to see how strong emotionally I am and is thankful that I've been able to independently make it. Fernando, has been there since day one by helping me with my home. I'd call him and even though he had just got off work, he would stop by to help me. He also likes to barbeque for me. He would never want me to be alone at home so he would want me to come over just to even watch TV. Jose I'd never heard him speak his mind and that night he wanted me to know he was thankful to finally see me smile. He says I'm a changed person. You can see a certain glow about you and all you need is someone to share it with. He backs me up with my life choices. I cried, I did. It was an emotional night. I'm in no hurry to find someone to love me for me. I'm just enjoying the people I get to meet along the way. Even then God has sent some interesting people my way.

My family is all I have and I have a very caring one. They will always be there for me cheering me on in the good times and be by my side in the hard struggles of life. I couldn't have asked for more.

I am well loved, well fed, and well thought of. They see me be a strong being. One day they will see me smile in a different way and they will know that it's because I'd find true happiness. God knows I deserve the best and in the meantime I am quite okay.

So I thank God everyday for always being by my side. I thank him for always finding a way to show me that he hasn't abandoned me. I thank him because the original six is continuously growing. I thank God because one thing is for sure is that I won't ever go hungry because my family loves to cook for me.

I may be poor but I am filthy rich in more ways than you can imagine. I'm truly grateful. Thank you