You are one lucky human being

Ask this question? Ask your significant other if they are willing to listen to you as you tell them what interests you? I've seen my sisters grow into the successful woman that they have become. They are strong individuals that will not take failure in their daily life routine. Over the weekend we saw my baby sister take her final journey across the stage as she is now a Nurse Practitioner. I do not know how many days she thought about giving up. I do not know how many times she would tell me to pray for her. Her husband probably saw her break in tears, tired from lack of sleep, and skipping meals to try to get to the finish line. She is not the only sister I have with a supporting husband. All my sisters managed to finish their degrees while with their husbands. They are still pursuing their continuous education as they continue to add to their names. Soon I'll also have a sister that has been working on her doctorate. I do brag on my sisters because it wasn't easy growing up. There were hard times and to see them achieve their dreams is knowing that anything is possible. I always tell them how lucky they are. They have supporting husbands that will go through the struggle to see their woman succeed. Whatever goals they have their husbands know how important it is to them. When you have a spouse that wants to make a better way of living and you are with that person you also gain from their achievements. Be that supporting individual that wants the same thing for your family.

Texas Woman's University 2019

Today I was helping a man that is from South Africa. I don't know how we started the conversation but he gave me his story and it made me feel good. He had just graduated the university while being married and raising six children. He has two in high school, two in middle school, and has the last two in elementary. He named all the schools they go to. I couldn't believe he was able to achieve his dream. He said "I need to set an example for my children". "I come from South Africa and have raised them in my culture ways even though they are born here". He showed me his picture they took of him as he walked the stage. I could tell he was so proud. His professors couldn't understand how he managed to do it. I knew how he managed to do it. He has a loving wife and family beside him supporting him. He has family to give him the motivation he needed to get to his finish line.  Here I was looking at a man that was starting to show his grays. I was talking to a man that is now a graduate of Finances with a big smile of pride on him.

Some never achieve their dreams. Some depend on others for support. Do not rely on someone else to make you want to do better. If there is something you want to finish, then finish it. If you are with someone and they do not want to see you succeed then they will only drag you down. Always do it for you but if you have someone supporting your dreams then by all means you are a lucky human being. Always be with someone that has the same vision as you do for if you do not share the same vision it only will ever just be a blur.

The story never ends...….

Hearts and Pan Dulce

Just incase I hadn't mentioned it before, I dislike the cold. I know the earth needs it to be cold it is a part of her seasons but for someone that likes to be outside the coldness burns me.

A yearly place I like to stop by is at the Bath House Cultural Center for their El Corazon Exhibit. It's their twenty fourth year dedicating February to heart related art in all forms. This year the theme was music but what I observed was more of an exhibition of broken hearts. More popular than I expected in todays way of life. I killed two birds with one stone, not really. I've been wanting to make it that way to feed the birds. Stand there and observe the tip of the lake, a form of meditation for me. Yes it was freezing but I'm never right in the head to begin with. Have you ever seen birds fight over bread? Even birds are stingy and don't want to share.

I'd get more but I have to watch my figure

This weather is always perfect for pan dulce.  Before heading home I decided to stop at the Panaderia del Sol. I remember going there when they first started their journey. It has grown since then. I walked in and found out a lot of people had the same idea as me. The line to check out was long. but no one was complaining because the bread was worth waiting. I always mind my own business but no matter where I go people really like to talk to me. Sometimes I try to make small talk but it doesn't work, so I just go with it. I figure they could have talked to anyone but they chose to talk to me.

My favorite piece there, poetry nailed to the heart

A man was getting bread for his family. We began talking but the most important part of the conversation was when he mentioned where he was from. He thought I wouldn't know the place. He got really excited when I told him I'd actually been there. You see he is from the State of Guerrero. My parents are from Guerrero. I've been there plenty of times in my life time. That's when we connected and started sharing stories. He hadn't been in ten years and he finally went to bury his father last year. He knows of the dangers that go with visiting, as do my family. But it's my parents home town where they grew up. I love going but I know that me going would one day not allow me to never make it back to my home here. When people hear the word Guerrero and know where this place is they automatically know it is a place filled with beautiful things and dangerous minds. It is a place that holds one of the seven wonders of the world. That is why he hadn't been in ten years. I was born here and know the risks but when I can I accompany my parents. Here was a man standing in line next to me at a bread store waiting to buy bread. A man I had never seen but something told him to talk to me and we connected at that level. Who would have thought I would be standing talking to a man born in a different part of America on a day like today exchanging stories that only we both would understand. This is why I just allow people to talk to me no matter where I happen to be. We left by saying we would continue our conversation the next time we would meet. He mentioned how the conversation was getting good right when it was his turn to check out. Joked how pan dulce helps contribute to diabetes and yet we are all packed in here for this bread.

I'll share a story with you, one that only I know and had never shared before. My dad built his house in the state of Guerrero. His house started as a mud house and he slowly saved his money to make it a concrete house, then added rooms to it. The house is on a corner of two dirt roads. One of my favorite memories was when we would visit and hear every other morning waking up to a truck hitting his horn driving on these dirt roads stopping at the houses selling bread. It would be a beat up truck with a camper. No matter where I was that morning when he came I would gather my pesos and go out and look at the back of the truck. He would have all kinds of breads on the back of the bed of the truck. That's one thing I miss doing to this day. No matter if it's sweet bread or just a plain bolillo I have always loved bread.

I enjoy hearing stories, that's why I always say tell me a story. I don't mean gossip I mean a true memorable event in your life. It was a good memorable ending to my day. February the tenth, some where the stars were lined up perfectly for two beings to cross paths at a bread store and were also at one point in time standing in the State of Guerrero.

a fortune cookie

It's always fun to pick a fortune from a table of more than one. The waiter gave us three fortune cookies and I was second to pick mine. Mine read "in the middle of a busy day, take some time to be a kid again."

This is the second fortune in less than three months that has come true. The first one is too personal to mention but it was a good fortune. We always read them wondering if they will come true. We try to somehow figure the hidden message it tells us. I got my fortune on Saturday and on Tuesday I was in a room with other adults coloring. There is a phrase for it, it is now called Adult Coloring because if we say we went coloring it wouldn't sound right, right. They had several coloring books and we got to pick what we wanted. I glanced over the books and when she said that it was okay to cut the page out I knew I had to cut wonder woman out from the comic book. The reasoning behind Adult Coloring is to release stress and a form of relaxation. I just like coloring. I've always like coloring but now it is normal to do it in public with other people. It is normal to do it when you are a kid but once you become an adult it seams all the things you liked doing you have to stop because it is no longer okay.

check out the red lips

I made a new friend in the process, we plan on meeting again next month to color.

As adults we get excited when we see things that reminds us of our past. Like when I see a package of Mamba or Now and Laters. It always reminds me of being a kid. When I would walk to the store down the street just to buy them. Then it starts a series of memories of being a kid and how it would be fun at times to be a kid again. We were so young not realizing we would have to grow up one day. Not realizing that it all would change. How when you are a kid you want to hurry and grow up just to realize how innocent that wish you would want to take back.

I think that is why grandparents have a better relationship with their grandkids because it allows them to be kids again.

As I'm writing this I'm eating Cracker Jacks. When I was a kid I would get excited just to get the prize inside.

My God Daughter always sends me artwork in the mail. When she saw this she asked if I colored it for her. I've sealed it and off it goes to her.

We tell our little ones to stay young as long as they can. No hurry in growing up. But no matter what we say society has already told them to stop being a kid and grow up.
  
It's okay to be a kid again. I was able to step back in time and come back to being an adult. No harm done.

Did I mention I love Barbeque.....thank you

Isn't it crazy how the year is almost over. I don't know about you but a lot has happened to me but I have plenty to be thankful for.

It's tradition when spending thanksgiving with my family to open a bottle of alcohol. Be it wine, champagne, or a shot. My dad buys something new and that night we all share the beverage. We all pour some in our glass and we go around the room and each one of us says what we are thankful for.

This bottle of Barefoot wine was delicious

I cried when it wasn't even my turn. My father starts and we go around the room. Glad that I was still here alive and living. My brother n laws also say what they are thankful for. It's an all family tradition. God is so good to me to have blessed me in many ways even by giving me the men that married my sisters. Never had I thought I'd see the day that I would need from them. You always need your sisters but I hadn't needed my brothers too. They have been such a huge part of my support system. Started with Ruben, he wants me to be happy no matter whom I choose in life. Someone to be by my side no matter what. He knows I love barbeque so he makes sure to cook out when I go visit. He tells me he is happy to see how strong emotionally I am and is thankful that I've been able to independently make it. Fernando, has been there since day one by helping me with my home. I'd call him and even though he had just got off work, he would stop by to help me. He also likes to barbeque for me. He would never want me to be alone at home so he would want me to come over just to even watch TV. Jose I'd never heard him speak his mind and that night he wanted me to know he was thankful to finally see me smile. He says I'm a changed person. You can see a certain glow about you and all you need is someone to share it with. He backs me up with my life choices. I cried, I did. It was an emotional night. I'm in no hurry to find someone to love me for me. I'm just enjoying the people I get to meet along the way. Even then God has sent some interesting people my way.

My family is all I have and I have a very caring one. They will always be there for me cheering me on in the good times and be by my side in the hard struggles of life. I couldn't have asked for more.

I am well loved, well fed, and well thought of. They see me be a strong being. One day they will see me smile in a different way and they will know that it's because I'd find true happiness. God knows I deserve the best and in the meantime I am quite okay.

So I thank God everyday for always being by my side. I thank him for always finding a way to show me that he hasn't abandoned me. I thank him because the original six is continuously growing. I thank God because one thing is for sure is that I won't ever go hungry because my family loves to cook for me.

I may be poor but I am filthy rich in more ways than you can imagine. I'm truly grateful. Thank you

melt down

The day starts off great then you have a melt down. At least this is what I think happened to me. I don't show it maybe because I try to hide the fact that I carry an inhaler. I have asthma. It's something that I am not proud of. I've had it since I was about two years old. My mother recalls my first episodes and I have it stuck in my mind ever since. It has gotten better since I've grown. I remember doing a lot to try to get rid of my asthma but of course you really can not. I've been there done that as far as helping to try to ease it to it's minimum. Who ever has asthma knows how it feels like to try to catch your breath.

I tried getting a refill on my prescription today over the phone and the doctor refused to give me one. She wouldn't let me have one due to the fact that I haven't recently sat in her office to hear the same thing over and over. Doctors have claimed to help me with my asthma. I've been used as a guinea pig all my life so I know what to expect when visiting a doctor that thinks they can help control it. I have visited plenty of them in my lifetime. I'm okay I don't need it at the moment but I do have to see her next week so that she can allow me to breath again normally if need be. I don't really blame her I mean she needs to make money off of me just to help with her daily life expenses. So from today till next week I hope I can make it without having what I call an episode.

I'm about to clock out and finish what I have to do in the back of my J O B when it hits me. I start to cry and get mad at the fact that I need a freaking inhaler to allow me to breath. Why do I rely on such a small piece of device to allow me to take that breath to help me function in daily activity. Makes me feel like a machine that needs adjusting from time to time to survive. It's just not right. What makes me more upset is the fact that the doctor knows I need this to breath and she thinks that I can just wait on her to get it. Like if my life depends on her signing a piece of paper. Then I realize I have to stop crying before someone sees me and I'd have to explain why they wouldn't understand the kind of melt down I just had.

But I shouldn't worry because if need be I can come to the doctors office after hours to get a treatment to help me pass my episode and I still will not get an inhaler. Isn't life just grand in the hands of another.