why is a birthday so important?

I asked myself this question today. Then I asked my friends. Why is an adult birthday so important?

I don't recall having my birthday celebrated as a child. I believe I was two years old when my parents celebrated my last birthday. It's not that they couldn't do it big just that we were not really raised around other kids. My moms tradition when birthdays came around is a traditional dish, Mexican mole with arroz. That's when it was just the six of us. My parents and my sisters six times a year. Then when I hit twenty two that is when I had my first real birthday. When I met Heather is when I started knowing how it was to celebrate a birthday for myself. It felt really good. When our first niece came to be with us. We celebrated like never before. We wanted her to feel like it was to have a birthday. After that I made sure to celebrate everyone in my life's birthday but I got carried away and backed off. I don't celebrate them like I had in my twenties. It just gets depressing after a while. As the family gets older it doesn't become as important as it was in the younger years. Now the loved ones live far away or just don't care about specific people in the family enough to celebrate it.

Last year I didn't do anything for my birthday. I made it intentionally dull. Wanted it to be the way it had been before Heather but she spoiled me in the past and it turned out making me feel horrible. I told myself that it didn't matter, from that point on I was going to celebrate it the best way I could from this year and on after that.

I hate having a heart. Hate feeling like I need to do something.

Made a new friend here a while back and she turned thirty yesterday. She wanted to celebrate it big. I mean it's only once you hit that milestone in our life time. Her plans were to make it memorable. I asked her, so how did it turn out? She looked at me with the saddest look on her face and said, nothing. Didn't do anything. Just spent it at home. I felt her pain. Didn't realize how important a birthday can be. I just figured we get old and on to the next day, like regular.

How many of you have had a birthday and had all these plans and just none came about? How many children and adults go without even a birthday cake? Have you ever thought that blowing out some candles to make those birthday wishes come true, some haven't experienced it yet. Now a days you have to celebrate a birthday by making it better than the last if not it didn't even matter.

When you remember your past birthdays do you remember who all was there to help you celebrate?

Yes we feel like a birthday is important to you and me, but that is when my heart aches to think that someone didn't get to feel that happiness, that acknowledgement that they exist.

melt down

The day starts off great then you have a melt down. At least this is what I think happened to me. I don't show it maybe because I try to hide the fact that I carry an inhaler. I have asthma. It's something that I am not proud of. I've had it since I was about two years old. My mother recalls my first episodes and I have it stuck in my mind ever since. It has gotten better since I've grown. I remember doing a lot to try to get rid of my asthma but of course you really can not. I've been there done that as far as helping to try to ease it to it's minimum. Who ever has asthma knows how it feels like to try to catch your breath.

I tried getting a refill on my prescription today over the phone and the doctor refused to give me one. She wouldn't let me have one due to the fact that I haven't recently sat in her office to hear the same thing over and over. Doctors have claimed to help me with my asthma. I've been used as a guinea pig all my life so I know what to expect when visiting a doctor that thinks they can help control it. I have visited plenty of them in my lifetime. I'm okay I don't need it at the moment but I do have to see her next week so that she can allow me to breath again normally if need be. I don't really blame her I mean she needs to make money off of me just to help with her daily life expenses. So from today till next week I hope I can make it without having what I call an episode.

I'm about to clock out and finish what I have to do in the back of my J O B when it hits me. I start to cry and get mad at the fact that I need a freaking inhaler to allow me to breath. Why do I rely on such a small piece of device to allow me to take that breath to help me function in daily activity. Makes me feel like a machine that needs adjusting from time to time to survive. It's just not right. What makes me more upset is the fact that the doctor knows I need this to breath and she thinks that I can just wait on her to get it. Like if my life depends on her signing a piece of paper. Then I realize I have to stop crying before someone sees me and I'd have to explain why they wouldn't understand the kind of melt down I just had.

But I shouldn't worry because if need be I can come to the doctors office after hours to get a treatment to help me pass my episode and I still will not get an inhaler. Isn't life just grand in the hands of another.

CBC taste and tour

Did a Community Beer Company Taste and Tour last Saturday. It was interestingly fun. We were a group of six friends. The tour started at two and ended at five. While you got to tour the brewery every hour you could relax and have some quality time looking at the local art of the day artist or catching up with friends lives. You get three tickets to try their beer on tap of choice for that day for only ten bucks. Not bad considering you get a good size on the beverages. When you finish one beer just go up to the counter and take your next pick. I'm not a beer drinker. I just don't care for the taste. I know that when it is hot outside and you have been working up a sweat at work you enjoy coming home to a cold beer. It just tastes sour to me. I need a little sweet flavor in my mouth and in my belly.

 

Even though I was down for the tour I was willing to take on the challenge. One thing is for sure, if you decide to do the actual brewery tour make sure you haven't had that much to drink. I say this because I was already on my third beer when we decided to do the tour. All I could hear was the voices in my head telling me blah blah blah blah blah. I recommend you taking it earlier than later. Besides checking out the art they also had food trucks available for the hungry. Dress is casual you don't really go to impress the guys because it's one of those places where it's only about the beer not what you look like to the guys drinking the beer. I enjoyed myself but after a while started feeling tired and sleepy. After the taste and tour I continue to stick with what I know, I'm not a beer drinker.  One thing I did like was that it was indoors with a back opening which means if it's cold or hot outside you are kept inside a big spacious room and can also go outside to drink. The one that I would love to do is the tour beer bus. But that is for the future. After drinking the beer I checked to see if I had grown any chest hair. Good to say I didn't.

The beers that I tried were:
Pale Ale, Public Ale, Mosaic IPA, and Vienna Lager the one that I liked was Vienna Lager.

They have them every Saturday this is the address
Community Beer Company
1520 Inspiration Dr
Dallas, TX

I'm going to share a story that happened in the bathroom that will have you saying beer is not for the girly girls.
I'm in the stall while another friend is in the lady's room as well. It's already filled with lady's trying to handle their business while all of a sudden a lady tells her friend "you are fabulous". Then the friend tells her friend "no, you are fabulous". While a third lady says"you have a good friend, telling you you're fabulous". So they all say it to each other "we are fabulous" 
I didn't get to see the ladies for I would have to pretend to be tipsy and say "y'all are all fabulous"
Instead when I came out of my stall I looked at my friend and said"OMG did you know we are so fabulous" in a fabulouish voice.  
I know I should be nice since we are all fabulous.

wasted 2014

Lets get food wasted. Yeah doesn't sound good. It happens. Went to an art show two weekends ago and well everything was based on food. All the art was food related. Second year in the making the curator of the show is Raymond Butler and friends it was held at the Basement Gallery in none other than Oak Cliff. Our goal was to get there early to be one of the first twenty people to get a free designed Wasted t shirt. I remember last year the line was long so you had to get there early just to be that lucky. Least to say I was first in line was in a group of five so I don't know if I just jumped in first or they let me. I was just excited to be first. From experience The Basement consists of paying a fee, ten bucks. I think ten bucks is worth the visit. since everything was based on food there was Mexican paletas, donuts, small bundt cakes, cupcakes, chipotle, chicken wings, and alcohol with regular beverages. As long as they had it there it was for us to have. My first time to try chipotle, it was okay no biggie. On the other hand I was ecstatic to enjoy the crown with cokes. There was a DJ for the dancing queens. It was like I pictured, quite interesting. I don't know why I like going to Wasted, who else but this one person thought to create a show dedicated to only food. If they continue to have them I'll try to be first in line but I know that won't happen again.

When ever you get the opportunity to get Wasted the best is to get food wasted.

ZEStfest?

When you hear the word Zestfest what comes to mind? The first year I saw the bill board with this word  I actually thought of oranges. There was an announcement about the event coming to town. After the event happened found out what it was about. Zestfest is a festival that introduces your taste buds to spicy sauces and foods. The second year that it came to town, not going to lie, didn't seem that interested since I am not into spicy stuff. Yeah, I know this Mexican doesn't care for spicy foods. I do eat chips and hot sauce but not the real burn on your tongue hurt in your belly feeling. My partner wanted to go but didn't think she would enjoy taking me since I wasn't going to play along. So I promised her and myself that the next year it came along I would definitely take her.

taking the challenge (Heather Shoulders and Steph Dickinson)

I didn't think I would enjoy it but it's one of those things you do for your love. It seems to be held at the Irving Convention Center every year. It is a big room with several isles that you go up and down tasting the goods. They had spicy dips, spicy pickles, spicy margaritas, spicy coffees, spicy chocolate, and especially spicy sauces. The goal is for you to try the goods and buy the best tasting one. The one you will enjoy the rest of the year. Like the commercial where the grandmother says that "she puts that s!!! on everything". The thing that was interesting was that they had milk stations at almost every corner. We were there for quite some time. I didn't try a lot of tastings because the ones I did try made it to where my throat was burning. I am a big wuss when it comes to spicy foods so I got to try the other alternatives. There is something for everyone. I got to try flavored coffees, toffee, spicy chocolate, bought some no sugar added pecan pralines. I was bad I know it. They have a little of everything even sausage and one of my favorites, frozen wine.

My senorita and a friend took on a challenge that had men tapping out of the tasting. It's called Ca Johns Execution Station. Known for the Guinness's World Record on hottest pepper, the Carolina Reeper. Had men turning red, sweating, even one said that he couldn't feel his face. But these girls made it to the finish. I know I couldn't have done it. Takes certain taste buds and a strong stomach to handle all this hot pain. I was prepared with water while she held a milk jug. Didn't even break a sweat. That's my girl.

I recommend Zestfest to any one that wants to take the challenge. It's only an experience if you take on the challenge. If you don't like spicy foods don't go into their kitchen but if your friend or loved one enjoys it be there to wipe the sweat of their forehead or carry their water.

Be on the lookout around this time next year. Make your mouth feel things you didn't know it could.

anti superbowl party

Everyone pretty much knows what goes on at a Superbowl watch party. Besides the women yelling and men crying there is food and alcohol, a lot of it. It's actually better than a birthday party. Everyone that drinks will bring a six or twenty four pack if not that, they will bring a side. Who does this at a birthday party I mean do you contribute? I have worked every Superbowl Sunday for as long as I can remember. I get people that are just anxious an talk about it at work. I'll be helping someone and you can just see it in their face" who are you going for?" "where are you watching the game?" It's almost a disappointment that look on their face when I tell them that I don't watch football. Believe it. This person won't do it. Yes I support school football since I have brothers that played in school but no pro football for me. Maybe it's the making millions to just run a ball across the field and showboat about it just doesn't catch my attention.

new picks for this years party are : mang-o-rita, pico de gallo lays, and silver linings from the redbox

What we started doing was celebrate this particular Sunday in our own little way. We get all the fixens like pizza, chips and dip, hot wings, and lets not forget a little adult beverage drinking going on. Instead of watching what everyone would normally watch we get a girly movie. We pick a new movie to watch and make it a real chic flick and we make it an Anti Superbowl party.

Now don't get me wrong if you watch the Superbowl that's just as fine. Someone has to watch it. Someone has to help those boys make those millions. Who is to say you won't make some money gambling today.

It's just not my thing and am glad to have my significant other enjoy the same things I do for if not tonight I might have been supporting her in bringing a side and a six pack to a Superbowl party.

May the best team win while we enjoy our little party.

needing reassurance

Today was a rough day not because I was actually having one but my emotions were running all kind of different ways.

Getting a call at odd times of the night or morning will get you thinking that something is not right so it's almost a scary thought when you answer the phone. I can't question God you are just not allowed to do so. I am no one to question him but when you don't know why there are so many evil people in the world what I feel is just hate. Feel like I'm ready to give up. Told God today that I'm ready for the world to end. A little background I'm Mexican and yes we are filled with culture but it also has its downs. Feel like the life of a Mexican soap opera without the romantic tale more the bad mafia.

We walk through life not knowing who crosses our path. Do you really know somebody? No.

Today a man came in and told us that he ran through the back of the gas station where he worked last night because someone came into it shooting his co worker. He never thought working overnight would have him so scared to go back to work. He was going to have to look for another job. It seams the least of the worries, but what about the man that lost his life today. The man that worked double for the sake of love. The man that worked to save money to bring his girlfriend from Ethiopia to America. Isn't it ironic how one instant your life can change. Wanting to bring her to a country where you were gunned down by someone so they can rob the place you have worked, for a better future for you and your family. An honest man making an honest living while someone that chooses to do wrong holds your life in their hands.

No one any where is ever safe.

So many innocent people lose there lives to the unholy ones.  I needed a sign of reassurance in humanity.

I hate feeling like I have the world weighing me down.

Just when I think this is it I get another man that tells me that he has been helping a veteran for fourteen months. He grocery shops for him, does his laundry, picks his mail from an address to a different city, buys him his necessities........ when I think about this man I think about the fact that he doesn't get anything in return. He provides his time and his own gas. He could have stopped long time ago but he didn't. He tells me he does this three or four times a week. He does it from the kindness of his heart. You tell me who does this without anything in return.

That didn't equal out today. The bad still won. But I didn't ask God for it to be equaled out I asked him to give me something to go with. He did.

I prayed for my uncled today and God listened. I'll pray for the girlfriend that lost her love. I'll pray that the kind man will continue to have his kind heart. I've heard of praying for sinners but the only thing I can say is for them to come forward and pay for their sins.

Love one another today, right now the next second could be your last.